The African Holiday season

The Nyama Choma Mystery

Ah, the Kenyan holiday season. It's like a giant game of musical chairs, except everyone's heading to the village instead of fancy restaurants. You know that meme that pops up online? "Watu wa Nairobi wamefika?" Boom! Nairobians have landed, ready to paint the countryside red (or maybe brown, depending on the murram roads).

Now, I won't bore you with big words about rural-urban migration and all that jazz. Let's just say it's like breathing for us Kenyans. We're not just city slickers or village chickens; we're both! We hustle in Nairobi, Mombasa, or any other city, including London, but our hearts are clucking like hens are back in the shamba.

So, the holidays come, and it's like a mental recharge. We grab the matatus or that hired vehicle, buy the goats and chickens from a local market, and roast meat over an open fire like nobody's business. Chapati? Don't even get me started. Mountains of stuff, dipped in delicious village gossip.

But hold on, there's always that one uncle or auntie who's had one too many from the village kiosk. They start with the guilt trips: "Sasa umekaa tu hapa? Njoo nikupee kazi!" (So you're just sitting here? Come help me work! And before you know it, your "few days" holiday has come to an end and yes, the pot of githeri (maize and beans) is put up to boil for a few hours before lunch.

But hey, that's the beauty of it, right? We may be city folk, but family and food are like the Ugali to our nyama choma—the soul of who we are. Even if the times are tough, we dig deep to share what we have with the folks who raised us.

So, to everyone out there celebrating, happy holidays! May our hired vehicles, or matatu, be drama-free, your fires smoky and delicious, and your auntie's lectures short and sweet. Remember, we're all in this village called Kenya, and even if we're scattered like millet on a windy day, we always find our way back to each other.

P.S. I couldn't resist adding some jokes to spice things up:

• Why did the chicken cross the road in Nairobi? To avoid the Matatu traffic!

• Why do Kenyan parents always seem to have "emergency" chores during the holidays? Because it's their secret plot to keep everyone away from their phones and social media!

• Why did the farmer in Nyeri name his cow "Wi-Fi"? Because it was always moo-ving!

Good people! If you have any more jokes, hit me up in the comments! Let's keep the laughter rolling like a boda boda on a downhill stretch.